MOONSTRUT

To You

My reason for not talking to you is simple, because I don’t want to and I don’t need to.

I don’t want to talk to you because you hurt me, bad. I know it sounds childish to you but that’s the reason. I don’t think you’ll ever know what I went through until you experience it yourself. It’s easy for you to sit there and wonder why we can’t be friends or why I don’t want to speak with you because you’re the one that left. You never knew or felt what I had to go through.

I don’t want to talk to you because I realized my life is better without you. You lost the privilege of knowing what’s going on in my life (why the fuck do you care anyway?) I don’t want to talk to you because quite frankly, I don’t care to know what’s going on in yours. I know I probably sound harsh and bitter but I have every right to feel this way. I’m not going to be like this forever though because the pain of losing you is completely gone but the memory of what you did still stings. I’m not going to sit here and share your business over tumblr but you know what you did and someday I hope you realize and hopefully understand the severity of your actions. 

As much as a bitch I may seem about the situation, I still have a heart. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be feeling this way. I just realized that you weren’t worth my tears, my time, or my compassion anymore. That doesn’t mean I didn’t cherish what we had - I did. I won’t forget what I gained from the relationship because it taught me many lessons. We went through so much together, more than kids our age should’ve went through but that’s the past. People change and I sure as hell did. I realized my worth, I realized what I deserve, and I moved on.

I know you’re still a good person. What I always admired about you was that you had ambition, you’re intelligent and behind your tough exterior that you like to put up, you have a kind heart. I know good people do bad things but I guess the reason why it hit me so hard was because not only did I feel broken, I felt betrayed by you. You were the only person at that time who I felt like I could give all my heart and my soul to. You worked so hard to gain my trust because it’s not an easy thing to obtain and I trusted you completely. So to have all that trust that I gave to you only to be broken was like a knife to the chest. 

Someday I hope you understand. I’m not expecting you anytime soon but I hope you do, not only for your sake but for the sake of the next girl that falls in love with you. I hope you treat her heart with more care than you did with mine. I hope you give her respect that every woman deserves and I hope that you treat her well too.

I wish you no ill will, I only wish the best for you. I forgave you a long time ago but I lost respect for you and I don’t want to be friends with someone that I don’t respect.